


Mother

by TheOneChickThatMayOrMayNotBeInsane



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Help, M/M, Phil is also sad but loves Dan, Song fic, dan's sad, i don't know how to tag parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-23
Updated: 2015-03-23
Packaged: 2018-03-19 07:26:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3601404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheOneChickThatMayOrMayNotBeInsane/pseuds/TheOneChickThatMayOrMayNotBeInsane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan has been raised to not trust anyone. Phil doesn't trust anyone anyway. This is not an AU. Based off of Pink Floyd's Mother, from the album The Wall.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mother

**Author's Note:**

> In no way does this fanfiction represent Dan and Phil's parents. The key word in all of my works is fiction. Dan and Phil's parents are not owned by me nor do I have any reason to believe that they are correctly portrayed in this work of fiction. It's basically me just taking the lyrics from Pink Floyd's Mother and turning it into Phan. Lyrics come from A to Z lyrics, as usual.

(Mother, do you think they'll drop the bomb?  
Mother, do you think they'll like this song?  
Mother, do you think they'll try to break my balls?  
Ooooh aah, mother, should I build a wall?)

 

Sure, Dan joked about his existential crisis but in reality they were rather serious and were one of the main reasons why his videos were so far and few in between. It happened even during his childhood. He vividly remembers bouncing his fears off his mother, trying to figure out life, the universe, and everything but also worrying about death and bombs and if people liked him or not. Those same fears were why he had ended up building a wall around his heart that oh so many people made eyes at. 

When he finally started talking to Phil, that was one of the things that kept him coming back to talk, the fact that Phil wasn't making eyes at the wall around his heart but trying to break it down, shatter it, so that Phil could see who Dan really was. It scared Dan as well. No one had tried to break down that wall in ages. No one cared enough. 

 

(Mother, should I run for president?  
Mother, should I trust the government?  
Mother, will they put me in the firing line?  
Ooooh aah, is it just a waste of time?)

 

Phil, on the other hand, wasn't worried so much about the existential stuff, he was more worried about what would happen later in life. Being a weatherman sounded amazing to him, as did being a vet or a zookeeper. As a child, he would beg his mother to take him to the zoo and would religiously watch the weather. Then, as he learned more about those careers, he liked them less and less. When he went to go volunteer at the veterinary clinic and fainted at the sight of blood, those fears just intensified. 

And as he got older, he lost faith in almost everyone and everything, including the government, his parents, his friends. When his close friend died, he wondered why it mattered, why he should care. Then he met Dan. Dan, with his existential crisis, Dan, also not knowing what he was going to do with his life but not really caring, Dan, who was still in school when they first talked and met. How could Phil not be drawn to someone like that?

 

(Hush now, baby, baby, don't you cry  
Mama's gonna make all of your nightmares come true  
Mama's gonna put all of her fears into you  
Mama's gonna keep you right here under her wing  
She won't let you fly but she might let you sing  
Mama's gonna keep baby cosy and warm)

 

The one thing that both of their fears had in common was the fact that their mothers almost encouraged them. Neither of them realised it for ages until they ended up talking about it one late night when Phil was tipsy and Dan was flat out drunk. They were gazing at each other and Dan vaguely remembers thinking how much he wanted to kiss Phil. Then Phil asked him why he was so concerned about existential stuff and where did it come from and did Dan know? The further Dan looked back into his own head, his own existence, he realised that his mother coddled him, kept him safe from the dangers of the outside world, teaching him that it was big and scary, but she did nothing to keep him from the dangers of his own head.

In fact, she encouraged it, telling him that he was brilliant, that he was clever. It made him arrogant, a fact that was reflected in his 12 year old self's website, but it also made him fragile. His mother kept him sheltered for most of his childhood, made him wary of other people, made him unable to form lasting relationships until he met Phil.

 

(Ooooh, babe, ooooh, babe, ooooh, babe  
Of course Mama's gonna help build the wall)

 

This also helped him build up the wall around his heart. The wall that no pet names could get though, that no soft words could pierce. That night, lying on the floor with Phil curled around him, Dan realised that his mother was at the root of that wall, the wall that had separated him from everyone but Phil. It was then that drunk Dan decided to kiss Phil there and then, on the floor of their Manchester flat. It was then that Phil returned the kiss, letting Phil permanently make his mark on Dan's heart

**Author's Note:**

> I was going to use the full song but it wasn't going to end on a happy note if I did, so I ended it here. Pls comment if you want. Also, side note PINK FLOYD IS FUCKING AMAZING GO LISTEN TO THEM RIGHT NOW  
> (Did you get my very small-blink-and-you'll-miss-it Fall Out Boy reference?)


End file.
